Friday, November 10, 2006

Who Writes These...

Yesterday the Boy was trawling the Netflix library for a corny Hindi film to watch during Thanksgiving. Traditionally we have watched only Saif Ali Khan movies in the past, but since we could not find any light hearted Saif Ali Khan movie we decided to broaden our search. In the process we had quite a few laughs…who wouldn’t when faced with lines like these*:

“…... A chance encounter with Sonia Khanna (Bipasa Basu)-a young, sexy and dangerously ambitious wife of a middle-aged industrialist Rohit Khanna (Gulshan Grover)-exposes Kabir to needs, emotions and areas of himself that he never encountered before including crime.” - Jism
And where exactly are these crime infested areas located?

“….. They really are like oil and water, but nonetheless, they dare to fall in love. And then suddenly, the game changes … and so do the rules. Just remember: Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus!” - Chalte Chalte
This is a warning: You are about to view a disaster of galactic proportions. Just remember.

“…When Shwetambari (Urmila Matondkar), a devoted college student from a rich Brahman family, falls for Soham (Ashmit Patel), a low-caste spiritualist….” - Banaras
Someone please tell me what a low-caste spiritualist before I die from split sides.

“...But when a confident anti-terrorist (John Ibraham) enters Anu's life” - Madhoshi
Ooh! Look a confident anti-terrorist….just the thought of him gives me wobbly knees and a throbbing temple.

“Based on a true story, Asoka is the spectacular epic adventure of one man's transformation through the power of love. Filled with action, political intrigue and a timeless romance, Asoka is a timely lesson on the power of war to change our lives forever.” - Asoka
So what’s it really about –the power of love or the power of war? Or could it be about something as simple as Kareena Kapoor’s powerful gyrations to "Raat ka Nasha"

“The romantic entanglements of characters played by Sanja Dutt and Tina Munim add a hopeful flavor, as do romantic ballads sung by the pair.” - Rocky
Otherwise it’s a pretty hopeless movie. 100 points for cinematic diplomacy.

“…the high-caste Hindu brother of Julie's best friend -appears on the scene, their mutual attraction results in an unexpected pregnancy…” - Julie
So that’s how high-caste Hindu’s make babies!

“Swept up in the torrents of love, three young people find their hearts are ripe for the taking.” - Barsaat
Are they discussing mangoes here by any chance?

“Putting his country first, the skilled operative comes up against such perils as explosives, sinister look-alikes, mysterious murders and devious plans.” - Yakeen
Totally out of syllabus, I tell you. They never said anything about devious plans and mysterious murders in the skilled operative class.

“...despite this Rupa awakens every day before dawn and prays at the temple singing devotional songs to bring the devotees to the temple.” - Satyam, Shivam, Sundaram
Oh! what a song it was my countrymen.

These just left me plain speechless:

“When their honeymoon night is captured on camera and broadcast over the Internet, newlyweds Kunal (Kunal Khemu) and Renuka (Smilie Suri) are devastated -- so much that the distraught Renuka commits suicide. Setting out to avenge his wife's honor, Kunal immerses himself in the pornography industry to catch the culprits and ends up befriending a porn queen (Deepal Shaw) who's as much a victim of the system as she is a participant in it.” - Kalyug

“Hum is a little boy who's too cool for words and always confident in social situations (although he can get egotistical at times). Tum is a self-assured little girl who's not afraid to stand up for herself in any setting. Together, these two youngsters make a formidable pair and are more than a match for any situation. Hum Tum is animated fun for the whole family” - Hum Tum

* These are from the brief write ups that Netflix provides.


Joy Forever said...

All are funny, but the last one really takes the cake. I mean the guy (?) really has talent! Try writing the review of a movie just by looking at its VCD cover. Why, I never thought it was possible!

Bidi-K said...

some very talented people with too much of a "certain kind" of imagination and time, obviously :) btw, I don't know if you read my comment from sometime ago, you have been tagged.

Anyesha said...

bidi-k:I did read and yes, I intend to do the tag sometime this week...but there is a reason for the delay and I promise its a very good one.