Friday, April 07, 2006

Clutching at Straws

We have been going through the here-look-at-our-wedding-pictures routine with close friends, not so close friends, friendly neighbours, grouchy neighbours, strange guy in street, sweet chap from the embassy, front office staff...basically anyone who makes eye contact with us nowadays. This how you get to tick the married box on all sorts of official forms and claim membership to the very exclusive, members only they-shop-for-bathroom-fittings-together club unofficially.

Coming back to the pictures; somewhere during this routine someone remarked that I look either giggly, grumpy or both, but never coy and demure. And so the pictures don't have the ethereally sombre Indian wedding look.....aannnnh!!! What??? All my efforts to keep my eyes down and be the perfect Indian bride were in vain. Wah hah hah, boo hoo hoo....all the hours spent practicing the "I'll be two steps behind "demeanour were a waste. I have gone ahead and done the unthinkable, i.e. look too comfortable at my own wedding....ishhhh!!!! I am doomed, doomed, doomed and so is our married life. All my hopes blown to smithereens by my inability to keep my teeth where they belong - inside my mouth. Why me, me, me??

After weeping my guts out and with distasteful images of unhappy, malnourished, stringy haired grand/great grand children swirling in my mind I went back to the pictures and voila! what do you know?...I might still have a chance at happiness. I may have giggled and guffawed till my jaws hurt but the Boy maintained a stoic, constipated look throughout...nope, no signs of molars, pre-molars or canines of any sort anywhere. There are hints of smiles and sometimes broad stretchy ones too but the teeth stayed home. Thanks to the Boy one half of our photographs look positively sombre. Thanks to the Boy (yet again), our marriage is saved and I can send the images of malnourished children back to where they belong - to the wimpy guy on TV who wants my money for saving them (as if IRS was not bad enough).

PS: Wah hah hah and boo hoo hoo are not only grammatically correct ways of expressing displeasure (similar to that very buchuesque expression - gah) they also have a therapeutic effect. Try vocalizing it with proper facial expressions when down in the dumps and you will instantly feel much better.

PPS: I really like adding PS and sometimes a PPS to my posts and then decreasing the font size in the hopes that they are overlooked. I also like parentheses and curly brackets and square brackets too. Come to think of it, I also like exclamation marks and those three little dots that allow me to be lazy.

PPPS: Is anyone still reading?...tough luck, there's nothing left.


Kumari said...

I don't like coy, demure brides :) Mainly becoz, my pictures aren't anywhere close to that effect :p Esp, the video is one hilarious comedy of errors, with me laughing n talking nonstop throughout the ceremony :D

Bidi-K said...

Ha, at least you have the Boy as your saving grace. We have none. At one point, my Ma and Mashi told us to stop cracking jokes and laughing during the ceremony because too many relatives were talking about the familiarity between us! I wonder how they thought we should behave after knowing each other for 5 years before the wedding, act like we have just met each other all over again?

Anyesha said...

kumari: aye, too. All Happy brides unite!

bidi-k:hear you, one of our friends who got married two years back to the guy she had known for more than 4 years was given express instructions before the wedding to look down and smile coyly....that was really funny!!