Sunday, October 02, 2005

What is Your Thrill Number?

We went to Chocolate Town of USA yesterday. The drive along I-83 was beautiful and the weather goddess was beaming at us from the heavens above. The park is officially closed to general public for this season. But since we do not belong to the hoi polloi ( you already knew that didn't you!!) we had special access. The special access was brought to us by a friendly colleague who in turn bought it from his friendly neighbour who works in this friendly spice factory. This neighbour's employer rents the whole place annually for the amusement of his employees and this year one employee was not too amused so he sold his tickets for 5 bucks a piece (food included!!).

The drive along I-83 was beautiful and the weather goddess was beaming at us from her home above. After the two hour ride we were very famished so we headed for the food tents and pigged out as much as we could on squishy buns, barbecue sauce drenched chicken breasts, coke, baked beans and all kinds of processed brown stuff. The only thing green on our plate was the vinegary pickle!!!We polished it all off with some free Hershey icecream...we took only one and left the rest for the kids even though quantities were unlimited.

We then proceeded to walk around the park with coke distended bellies. We stood infront of one of those in-a-mere -35-seconds-let-gravity-rearrange-your-innards type rides and heard the folks suspended in mid air scream for their lives. Nah!! the Storm Runner with a thrill number of 5 was definitely not for us. We walked on and were confronted with a wall of water and some more screaming human beings who were sent crashing into a pool from a height of about 50 feet. Hmmm...interesting, look that thingie is the engine which pulls them up, the rest is left to gravity...Yikes!!!! After some more aimless rambling we decided to take the Canyon River Rapids Ride but only after the chappie at the door reassured us that we would not get wet as the waterfalls were not working. The folks coming out from the other side after the ride looked reasonably dry too. Just what we need - a nice river ride on a tire. Unfortunately those tires were meant for 8 people and the two of us could not balance it well enough and got drenched at every little artificial bump. But remember the sun was shining and soon our clothes were dry and we were two happy muffins on our way to the wooden roller coasters. They look tame enough, but hold on there are two of those hurtling towards each other and then there are 1,2...no 3 stomach churning bends.

And soon enough we realised what you might have by now - we are not roller coaster people. They just did not make those monsters of steel and wood in our thrill numbers!! Once self realisation has dawned life becomes much simpler, you learn to love yourself and stop fighting your inner instincts. In our case we walked over to the toy train and took a joy ride, followed by a ride on the monorail (where we had a creepy voiceover which pointed out the Hershey Kisses type street lights, for company).

Next stop - Chocolate World which was one big promo for Hershey's. The little buckets on a conveyor thingie ride through a simulated chocolate factory was way too lame. It was even more annoying when we were dumped in the giant chocolate store where everything was overpriced. We settled for some Scharfen Berger hot chocolate and two bars of dark chocolate. Might as well pay for good chocolate. We also had a discussion on the whole everything-is-a-marketing-ploy issue and the general vacousness of life forms dependent on roller coaster rides for amusement while sipping our exquisite artisanal chocolate drink. And Amlan we also thought about free trade cacao. But all that will be discussed in a heavy post some other day when I am in a less frivolous mood.

So there now you know a little bit more about me and God forbid you ever bring this up to mock me. I shall turn up my little nose, adjust my glasses daintily and proceed to burn you with a dirty look.

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