Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The DMV Issued Passport to Marital Bliss

I agree the title of this blog stretches it a bit too far, but surely all the Indian graduate students (specially the single male ones who leave copious comments on Sagnik's blog) would agree that he who goes to the DMV early to get the his driver's license, suddenly finds himself miles ahead of his counterparts in the find-a-mate-yourself-or-else-Mom-will game which is rampant on most campuses here. The neighborhood Food Lion, Shoppers or Big Y's is a big, solid wayside attraction, landmark, milestone (call it what you will) on the way to a woman's heart!! You might not be God's gift to womankind (my friend Anoop might even call you fugly!!!), but get a car and you will find yourself surrounded by women and your arrival will be most welcome in the standard four women -no car households. Infact the moment You - the single male with the decade old sedan stops by, the women will start making grocery lists in their minds while they beam beauteous smiles at you. And if the stars in the heavens above are singing harmoniously they might even feed you.

I knew a heart broken gentleman once who declared that he bought a car with sole intention of driving this lady (call her A) to the grocery shop. And after being spurned by A he was inconsolable. You see he still had the car loan to pay off!!! A bad ROI, I tell you. But then give me a break - if your idea of romancing a girl is to take her grocery shopping and watching her adoringly as she decides between chicken wings and thighs, well I am speechless for a change!!. On the other hand, there are women who get their own licenses and do their own shopping... more power to them. I also know some who cart the men around (though for some reason the men they cart around are always juniors!!!). Then there are people like yours truly whose priorities in life are totally screwed up. I was one of the first few people to get a license but I never brought a car in my two years of graduate school. I used the bus instead. The license was my passport to unmitigated bacchanalia without having to lug my bulky Indian one around!!!

Let me admit that I am indulging in some broad generalizations here. Infact to be fair to both sexes, let me just say that this is a game both parties play. Ladies you are not allowed the very lame, "I think of you as a brother" line and Gentlemen be prepared for some competition (Count the number of single men around you with cars and then count the number of single women without -now do the math!!). Let's behave like the mature adults that we are, shall we. And while you, Ladies and Gentlemen are at it may we (the humble spectators with boring love lives and totally non existent sex lives) have some fun cheering and booing you along? Please, Pretty Please....

4 comments:

Amlan said...

Sagnik and Anyesha's blogs are companion readers. Sagnik with his whiny repetitive "oh-i'm-so-smart-but-single-poor-me-what-do-women-really-want" posts and Anyesha with her cynical "stupid-Indian-men-see-how-they-mate" go beautifuly. I dare say at least one opinion explains the other!! :))

Sagnik Nandy said...

:)) i'm in a good mood to reply to Amlan's comment but the place doesn't seem right :)

anyesha, i agree with you that a lot of men think that a driving license will increase their "drive". i know of a girl who chooses her best male friend baed on who gives her the maximum lifts that month - how up-lifting :)

Anyesha said...

Amlan: Tumi bhujbe na...Ha!! the joys that gold old heartwarming P and PC holds for people of meagre intellectual capacity like me!!!

Sagnik: Why not, why not!!! comment here and I will cheer you along...bollam na aar kono kaaj nei and aar kono kaaj korar matha-o nei.
Btw, this post was inspired by a vision - that of a girl with bags of grocery walking away from a car (with fellow male student in driver's seat)in a lonely parking lot on a dark, dark night!!Wonder what I was doing there...bolbo na.

Amlan said...

Oh Come on Sagnik!!! Spill it out :) Whats a blog if it can't ruffle feathers!! ;)